Sending Out 2020 in West African Style

I know this is a little late notice, but it just dawned on me that with 2020 being a non-traditional year, there may be an interest in a non-traditional way to see it out. 

A New Year's Eve party in West Africa lacks the hype of its American counter-part. There are no televisions, no visible countdowns, just a group of people having a late night worship service at the church. As the minutes approach the big new year, a time of prayer begins.  Everyone prays aloud at the same time for several minutes. When the prayer time ends, the new year has come. The big moment passes without any attention as each person present is speaking with the Lord. As an American, it felt anti-climatic at first. A moment of reflection later, I thought, "That was so good. That was so right." The West Africans tangibly act on what all of us do...walk into a new year with the Lord our God.

Given all that is disrupted this year, I thought I'd offer talking with the Lord as a fitting way to send out 2020 and welcome 2021.  You won't be alone, as your brothers and sisters in Africa are doing the very same thing when the new year hits their time zone. Maybe this is the year we all say, "I don't need a ball to drop. I don't need party hats and confetti. I need You."

Tea Time Friday

In Philip's role as Missions Director, he spends his days assisting missionaries. Sometimes that means talking with current missionaries about decisions or projects, or guiding new missionaries through preparation and training, or keeping up with security trends, or transferring money around the world where there are ongoing ministries.  All good work, but it is Fridays that are my favorite.

Friday mornings he pulls his charcoal and his African tea set onto the front porch, much to our North American neighbors' amusement. As the tea brews over the span of a couple hours, he calls African friends and co-workers just to check-in, as is their culture. (In Africa the phrase "no news is good news" does not apply.) These mornings are decidedly inefficient and unapologetically relational. They are the rhythm in the week that make everything else make sense. 

I liken what Sabbath is for Christians to what tea time is for Philip's work.  It doesn't make the to-do list disappear, but for that day or that morning, we live by the rules of another place. When Christians set aside Sunday to worship and laugh with the Father, the rest of the week makes sense. When Philip laughs and chats with his friends who are sitting under their mango trees across the ocean, the rest of the work makes sense, too.  I just love Fridays.

Tea, anyone?

While the blog was quiet

Phew! It has been quiet on here for a while. The one thing I wanted to talk about, which I couldn't mention, was Philip's nearly four weeks away. 

The objectives of the trip to Africa were simple enough: resolve a banking situation and host the fourth annual Host Family Workshop. In theory, these could have been accomplished in a blazing fast journey, but the Africans taught us to make time to linger and let God unfold his plans. We are so glad they did.

Philip had time to share tea and meals with African friends, to come alongside other missionaries in their work, to coach a new missionary in entering the culture well, to photograph a formula distribution, to worship with our local church, and to watch as a sweet little girl joined her forever family while saying goodbye to the ones who loved her as their own for three years. All of that was unexpected! All of that was worth the risk, worth the distance.

We never know at the beginning of a trip what the real point of the trip will be. Regardless of what plans we make ahead of time, it takes watching God's plans unfold to know why Philip is there. This time, despite all he was able to "do," I would say the reason for this time in Africa was to LISTEN. He heard stories of people whose trauma is making international headlines, and he heard stories of those whose trauma never will. He heard a story of God showing up with healing in a place where there is an insufficient medical system for Him to work through, and he heard the everyday talk of friends. He heard the blessings of co-workers. He heard the tears of a family's goodbye and the laughter of babies with tummies full.

Someone (I wish I could remember who) once said, "Go to the place where you are not enough, and you will find out that He is." This quote sums up what was happening while this blog was silent. Stay tuned. I want to catch you up in the next few posts.

Book Recommendation: Your Turn

On my birthday, I committed to reading twelve books in the next year that have been translated into English. Why translated into English? So that I know I was not the intended target audience. I already know what people like me are saying and thinking. I want to listen in on the conversations the rest of the world are having. The problem is, I'm getting near the end of my reading wish list with 5 more books to read. Yes, I could pick any of the books of the Bible to fit the bill, but if you have a recommendation, it could be a peek into your world and a gift into mine. One of the books on my list was recommended by my sister and another was handed to Philip by a preacher friend. These are treasures! So, what book recommendations do you have for my year? Particularly books originally written in a language other than English.

(Note: A couple originally English books snuck onto the list. I am so glad they did! Even though the authors share my common language, they both reflect worldviews and conversations that needed to stretch me and humble me.)

So, here is where the project started. Where would you have it go from here?

1. The Murmur of Bees (Spanish)

2. The Bookseller of Kabul (Norwegian)

3. Things Fall Apart (English, African literature)

4. The Alchemist (Portuguese)

5. The Cross and the Lynching Tree (English, Black theology)

6. The Spiritual Exercises of Saint Ignatius (Latin)

7. A Short Account of the Destruction of the Indies (Spanish)

8. *your recommendation here*

9. *your recommendation here*

10. *your recommendation here*

11. *your recommendation here*

12. *your recommendation here*

Book Recommendation

 

Last night our family finished listening to The Insanity of God: A True Story of Faith Resurrected. I am left speechless. I don't know what to tell you but that I hope you read this book. If you have older kids at home, I really hope you read it together.  The audiobook was available through our library, and after each chapter we would hit pause so that each of us could say what stood out to us in that chapter. Most of the time, the youngest ones surprised us with a meaningful word or phrase to revisit. Our teens' reflections were a priceless companion to the story. Come join us as faith is wrecked and rebuilt in pursuit of Jesus.

Hungry Months Challenge LAUNCHED

 

Thanks to the first of The Hungry Months Challenge and the Emergency Food funds you donated, our team in West Africa purchased and distributed thirty large sacks of rice earlier this month.  Think of the impact on families who were wondering where their next meal would come from. Think of the impact on a community with multiple faith options wondering which God would show up in their crisis.

It's a good start....

                              more to come.

You on the Front Row

First, I want to apologize. You come here to be on the front row of what the Lord is doing in West Africa and I haven't kept my side of that promise. I am sorry.

You see, large chunks of the summer have been rough. It has been two years since I walked in the red dirt of West Africa. I thought a West African friend was going to share our summer, sit at our table, walk these city sidewalks with us, and meet you who care for him and his work before you've even met him. I was so looking forward to watching the two pieces of my heart fall in love with each other.  Even though the Lord told us we do not know what tomorrow will bring, it has taken this long to recover from losing that anticipated visit.

At the same time, the physical needs in West Africa continue to rise. Sometimes the stories from our friends in-country and the international news headlines hit simultaneously in a whirlwind of need. It's hard to grasp the depth and complexity of the poverty the continuing crisis is generating, especially as we sit here with grocery stores on every corner.

Meanwhile, the pandemic has taken a toll on our financial support. While our amazing, amazing and generous supporters for both the host families and our personal support have both remained and stepped up in generosity, the formula ministry it's own ministry fund. To date, the formula ministry has largely been provided by churches who host annual events in honor of the babies in crisis in West Africa.  Without churches gathering for those events, we face a staggering shortfall in ministry funding in the coming months.  In all of our years, the Lord has provided funds before we even knew why we needed it. This position of uncertainty is new for us, and would you believe it's been good?  Grappling with the coming needs in relation to our dwindling funds actually renewed my vision and passion and readiness to sacrifice for the little ones and the Kingdom.

On a personal note, I learned this summer my spiritual health hinges on two disciplines: worship and confession. I strive for perfection and tend to want to save worship for when the work is done and we can see with our eyes His goodness in the world. As we work for the hungry to be fed and for the motherless to have a valued place in a family, I must pause in the midst of it all to say, "You are good, even when the world around me is not."  Likewise, when I am disappointed with the American church, as has happened often this summer, I must pause to see that the imperfections "out there" are the same imperfections within me. Together our sacrifice can be that of a broken spirit and contrite heart.  From such a posture, I have seen the Spirit DOES lead, the Word DOES shine light in darkness, and discipleship DOES matter.

How is that for an update?  Well, it's only the beginning! 

God is near. Throughout all the hard stuff above, He made his strong and quiet presence known. He reminded me He is alive and so is this ministry.

You already know our ideal is family preservation: coming alongside families in crisis in West Africa so that they can care for their children because the family unit is strong in Africa. In a tiny fraction of the stories, that is just not possible. This summer we have seen the hope of a forever family falling into place for several children. Obviously we won't share their stories here, but you can celebrate with us all the same.

The Warning family chatting with the host family they sponsor in West Africa

We were also inspired by the coronavirus lockdown to step up our digital connections. We sent video messages from supporters back and forth to and from Africa and experimented with live video meetings between host families in Africa and the American families who sponsor them. It's been.....oh, I don't have words for it! For all these years we've described our role as a bridge between the church in America and the church in Africa. Now it feels like we get to step out of the way so the church in America and the church in Africa can interact directly with each other.  Glorious! The technology was always there so why, oh why, did it take a global pandemic to reach this level of imagination?  This is one of those areas that will never "go back" after the pandemic. We've only just begun to imagine the mutual encouragement technology can facilitate. For obvious security reasons, these connections will not be made publicly available, so keep an eye on your email (or get in touch if you want to join!) for the dreams we have of you being front row in West Africa with simply an internet connection and a heart to learn.  The joy is contagious and we are so glad you are in it with us! 

There you go. You are truly in the highs and lows of front row living once again.

The Inward Fire

"Our first and foremost task is to faithfully tend the inward fire 

so that when it is really needed 

it can offer warmth and light to lost travelers."

-Henri Nouwen

A neighborhood tragedy.  The start of a school year that feels like a punch in the gut. A global pandemic creating worldwide suffering. A looming election bringing out the worst in all of us. 

The layers of this week are thick, and the burden is deep. 

Give or take a few details, your week probably feels a lot like mine. It's a trying time for us all, so I want to pass along a stroke of wisdom shared by a group of neighbors who held a prayer night after the traumatic event that happened last weekend. The format of the evening of prayer was such a gift. Following a model of writing your own psalm, we communally cycled through intimate address, complaint, petition, and reorientation. Two days later, I listened to the podcast that inspired the prayer night and repeated the process alone regarding all the other mess right now. I cannot recommend this act highly enough.  Start by listening to "Emotions in the Time of Coronavirus: Writing Your Own Psalm" and follow where it leads you. This is a practical, guided step in tending your own inward fire.

You know how after being at a campfire the scent lingers in your hair and clothing? You cannot hide that smokey smell, and you don't need to announce it. Sometimes you don't even recognize it after stepping away, but others can smell it on you.  This is how I have been thinking about the aroma of Christ. It lingers on you and you carry it with you without your effort or even your own awareness. The world needs people who have been with the living God and suffering Christ and the guiding Spirit.  If that is you, thank you. In tending that inward fire, you offer the weary of the world warmth and light.

The Hungry Months Challenge

You are invited!  From now through October we are joining The Hungry Months Challenge.  We are challenging ourselves to minimize our grocery budget so we can maximize our giving for the months our friends in West Africa are working toward their harvest.  This year the annual "hungry months" are exacerbated by coronavirus restrictions and by the nearly one million people fleeing violence in the north.

You can help by setting a grocery budget that challenges you to waste less and give more.  Skip the extras for a few months and send that money to West Africa. There is no wrong way to do this, though.  If you don't want to budget or track your food spending, but you still want to give.....then give!  If you think your little bit won't do much, give it anyway.  

$10 will feed a person for 15 days.  

Your little bit MATTERS!

Your big gift MATTERS!

Join us.

The Pandemic "Ride"

I think it is time to bring out the test drive prank with Jeff Gordon again. 

This is what living in a pandemic feels like, is it not?

Anyone else resonate with the moment he accelerates on the ramp?

What gets me every time is the salesman's question at the very end.

"Wanna do it again?"

The only difference between "I am gonna kill you" and wanting to do it again is knowing he could trust the one behind the wheel.

Same course, same speed, same turns but a different desire knowing the one behind the wheel is a professional rather than a psychopath.

I fell onto the floor in a pile of tears yesterday when we got the call Daniel's school is going virtual again.  I don't doubt the school made the right decision, but it will be costly for Daniel, for me, and for his siblings. It brought me back to the Jeff Gordon prank. I don't want to get to the end of this pandemic and realize I have screamed and panicked my way through what could have been the faith "ride" of my life.

The One steering this thing is able.

Someday we'll say with the psalmist, 

"It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees."

May we say it without regret, having enjoyed the ride that feels out of control in this moment.

May we look over to the One "in the driver's seat" with a confidence that defies our momentary experience and a trust that begs to do it again.

Emergency Food Response

How many times have you looked at the news lately and thought, "This is not okay" but felt helpless to do something about it? This article is hard to read, but I hope you'll read it anyway.  It is "not okay," but this is one of those moments when we can and are doing something about it. 

Virus-Related Hunger Linked to 10,000 Child Deaths Each Month

Our adopted home country is addressed at the beginning and the end of the article because hunger is a real problem right now.  We are in the beginning of the seasonal "hungry months," adding to the troubles of communities taking in the thousands of people displaced from violence in the north.

As a supporter of our ministry, you are already a part of addressing the hunger for children.  We want to expand our impact in the months of crisis. If you have extra to give, use this link:

Emergency Food Response

2020 Booklist

What I love about this list is that all these books can be traced back to the recommendation of a friend or to a developing friendship.  In a time when gathering with friends was banned, the books connected me to you.  So here you have my little link in the chain of book recommendations from a friend in crazy time, starting with books we read as a family, followed by the ones I read (or listened to) on my own.

Family Read Alouds

The Lunatic Express 

This was the perfect quarantine read-aloud.  At a time when we couldn't travel, we could sit on our couches and "see" the world.  Because his description of West Africa was right on, I felt like we got a peek into authentic life in places we've never been. An adventure story and compassionate reminder of our privilege in this world all without leaving the living room.

This Present Darkness 

Freaked our kids out with the darkness in this one, but we thought they could handle it.  I think they liked it, too.

As Sure as the Dawn 

Finished the trilogy we started last summer! Yay, closure! The third book brought a rave review from the teen girl and disgruntled tolerance from the teen boy.

Quiet Power: The Secret Strengths of Introverted Kids

We enjoyed getting to know our introvert and ambivert selves a little bit better through this book.

What I read (or listened to)

Candlelight: Illuminating the Art of Spiritual Direction 

By Sue Phillips

I am pretty sure this is the only book on the list that made me cry.  An easy read about what it looks like for a spiritual director to come alongside someone in their spiritual journey.

Dignity: Seeking Respect in Back Row America

By Chris Arnade

A challenging, in-depth look at what we misunderstand about "back row" America. Really, really recommend this one.

Poustinia: Encountering God in Silence, Solitude, and Prayer

by Catherine Doherty

A Russian perspective on encountering God. I really enjoyed broadening my perspective.

The Murmur of Bees

By Sofia Segovia

The first book toward one of my 40 Before 40 goals: to read twelve books this year that have been translated into English. I picked this originally Spanish book before I knew the setting was the Spanish Flu times that so strangely corresponded with our real life as I was listening.

The Practice of Prophetic Imagination: Preaching an Emancipating Word  

By Walter Brueggemann

It takes me a long time to process this material (three years since I started this little book), but Brueggemann is still one of my favorite authors. I appreciate the reminder YHWH is front and center in the Old Testament and in our world today and that our task is to "tell the truth in a society that lives in illusion, grieve in a society that practices denial, and express hope in a society that lives in despair."

The Naked Now: Learning to See as the Mystics See

by Richard Rohr

This was my first Rohr book, so I had to get used to the way he unapologetically references God as "She." The big mistake I made with this book, though, is I thought I could download the audio version from the library and listen to it while I did other things. Not so.  By chapter four, the audio wasn't enough. I purchased a copy to highlight in. There is so much that will stretch you and edify you to see as the mystics see.

Before the pandemic, we were very much enjoying getting to know some new Burmese friends. I realized I didn't know anything about their country besides the headlines. Hopefully, we will get to restore these budding friendships when the pandemic ends. 

The Geography of Thought: How Asians and Westerners Think Differently....and Why

by Richard E. Nesbitt

Burmese Days 

by George Orwell

The Hidden History of Burma: Race, Capitalism, and the Crisis of Democracy in the 21st Century 

by Thant Myint-U

Happy Birthday, Philip!

Turning forty is fun when you spend your birthday raising up
the next generation to love African tea!

Reverberating in our hearts

"From the moment you open your mouth, you sound like one of us," explained a friend a few years into our life in Africa.  This was contrasted with those who learn French in France and arrive in West Africa "sounding like the oppressor."

To that point, I was blind to how deep the colonial resentments still run or how our choices decades after independence were sifted through those resentments.  Since we are not French, our African friends started talking about the past openly, and we listened intently.  This wasn't our fight; the heartache our friends expressed reverberated in our hearts as well.  It was a slow process of hearing another worldview and understanding how something so foreign to what I understood about history was also true.

I was a new level of perplexed when I heard the Muslims were still mad at us for the Crusades.  How could this be? I had never identified myself with historical events of the Middle Ages, nor had I considered the consequences of that time period could still be with us nearly a thousand years later.  Wow, what a long memory.  By the time this was explained to us, though, I was sifting history through love for the Africans sitting right beside me rather than defending my Western worldview.  Living in Africa did not prepare me for today's societal conversations about race relations, but I do feel primed to listen, particularly in pursuit of reconciliation among people of faith.

Another culture shock was the continual ethnic sparring among our African friends.  Our West African friends had ongoing jests about who should be whose slave, depending on the dominance of their respective people groups.  As you can imagine, it was incredibly uncomfortable coming from our culture to hear friends yelling back and forth, "No, you are my slave!" Eventually, they explained how this ethnic ribbing saved them from a civil war.  A neighboring country with similar ethnic tensions but no culture of jests disintegrated into violence after years of simmering tension. Therefore, our friends liked to keep the issue in the open and light-hearted.  Just like this, actions that offended us at first were appreciated by us once we understood the stories behind them.  We just had to leave our worldview to live in theirs.

Our years in West Africa opened us to seeing beyond our worldview, to believing stories that contradict the limited scope of what we've been taught, and to loving the people on the other side of those stories.  It's not the same here because we are counted among the oppressors, but because the West Africans let us sit among them and trusted us to see another side, we enter conversations today with the same humility and honest curiosity.  I hope you do, too.

Where I See Christ the Most

"So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God."

-New Living Translation

How important interpersonal reconciliation is to the Lord!  In our country, decades of colorblindness left a portion of our population simmering in silence. The burden of reconciliation now falls on us white people.  Someone has something against us. We have done the offending.  We must do the work to reconcile. Do you see the order of this verse? Reconciliation first, and sacrifice to God second. It is that important.  How do we reconcile?  First, we listen.

If you are new to the conversation, know that listening to these stories is uncomfortable.  I don't like to hear that someone's story contradicts my worldview.  I don't like to hear that people like me are the bad guys. I don't like to feel the weight of sin that goes back generations without reckoning. 

And that's the point.  Entering someone else's world, by definition, means leaving my comfort.  Come to these books and movies and podcasts willing to learn, to be uncomfortable, and to honor the brothers and sisters who let us into their reality. I am telling you on the front end, it's going to hurt.  But I'm also telling you this is the place in the world where I see Christ the most.

Earlier in the week, I wanted to pray about the murders and protests and then be at peace, but the peace wouldn't come.  The Beatitudes reminded me that the godly response in the absence of justice and comfort is to be disturbed. Mourning, hungering, and thirsting do not feel good, so the Lord told us in advance that He would meet us there. Through this part of Matthew 5, I came around to peace in not being at peace.  

"God blesses those who mourn,

for they will be comforted.

God blesses those who are humble,

for they will inherit the whole earth.

God blesses those who hunger and thirst for justice,

for they will be satisfied."

-New Living Translation

There are many more articulate and more invested writers than me speaking out for racial justice, and their words are all over social media. All I aim to do here is be a friend on the journey.  If you want to care, but all the voices yelling from every direction are paralyzing, let me offer a place you can start. Maybe you'll read one of these suggestions, and that will lead you to something else.  That's all this is meant to be: options, not requirements. One person may be drawn to a book, someone else to a movie, and another to a podcast.  Don't feel like you have to do it all, especially at once.  But do do something, the burden for reconciliation is on us.

Online Community

Be the Bridge: a Christian Facebook group where people of color are honest and white people are actively listening

Podcasts

Truth's Table: Three Christian black women talking about race issues (46 episodes)

Vince Bantu on church history (1 episode)

Movies 

Just Mercy (took my four year old out of the room for one scene) This one is streaming for free in the month of June! 

Harriet (too intense for my four year old, but the other kids watched it)

The African Americans: Many Rivers to Cross (PBS miniseries)

Books

The Warmth of Other Suns (This one is an easy place to start because it reads like a story!)

Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?

The Half Has Never Been Told

Like a fish returned to water

Like a fish returned to water....

only now I know the water is poisoned.  

This is the cynicism of the American church that many people who have lived overseas carry back with us.  On top of a general disillusionment, four of my best friends left the church while I was gone.  Returning to the States meant I had to wrestle with their stories while living my own.

During this time of struggle, a new friend invited me to join a ladies Bible study group last fall.  I have a habit of accepting every invitation this friend extends, and it has never been a bad decision.  This year the topic of study was the book of Acts.  God looked my despair head-on right at the beginning, week three of thirty, when we covered the Holy Spirit coming at Pentecost.  It struck me that the forebearers of the Kingdom were of the generation who killed Jesus. Unlike the Israelites of the Old Testament, the Lord didn't make his people wander around until that generation died before he acted on his plan.  No generation, I thought, could be more lost or deserving of punishment than the generation who killed the Son....and yet.....it was to them that the Spirit came.  No matter how much we get wrong as the church in our generation, if God had mercy for that generation, there is hope for ours. 

I could have shared the Pentecost reflection part without disclosing that first paragraph of the struggle into which this realization was born, but I wanted you to know this isn't a missionary's mountaintop story.  This is a story of the One who said, "I am with you always"......and meant it, even when we are lost, despairing, and discouraged about ourselves.  He meets us there, too.

Three mamas, nine babies

Three mamas.
One lost in childbirth, one to malaria, one to presumed malaria.
Each leaving behind triplets.
Nine babies coming motherless to the ministry in the span of two weeks.
The local doctor said, "If you weren't here, I know we'd be burying these babies."
Tragedies interrupted by hope.
But first, the tragedies.



I didn't know how to write about these new babies in our Formula Ministry until my friend Amanda sent this message, "I looked in one of our bushes and found this nest with these sweet little eggs, which immediately made me think of the 3 sets of triplets without their mommies, which then made me cry! I was thinking how even these tiny birds have a better chance of survival in that bush in my yard than the babies in West Africa."

I cried, too.

We honor the beauty of the lives of the African babies.  We honor their struggle.  We honor the Church and the God who were ready to welcome them.

Desert Experiences

"Don't wish the desert experiences out of your life."

Nearly two decades ago, a beloved college professor gave us this challenge.  It has stuck with me, edified me, and haunted me for years.  Just when I thought I had it mastered, the Lord raised the stakes by adding, "Don't wish the desert experiences out of your children's lives."  

Oh, how this lesson hurt. I spent a lot of energy regretting my oldest children's childhoods as they were living them.

For his first birthday in Africa, Titus asked to stay home because every time we left our house was hard.  On hers, Emily asked to visit a Lebanese hotel an hour away to see the grass.  If you can imagine a life where the best things your six and eight year olds can think of are staying home and seeing grass, it hurts.

They went up to fifteen months at a stretch without a hug from a grandparent or an encouraging word from a Sunday school teacher.  The only adults pouring into them (in person) were us.  (Sound familiar?)  I hurt for them often, knowing what love they were missing out on in America.

When they only saw English-speaking friends one morning a month at missionary worship and another three times a year at homeschool co-op in the capital, their loneliness hurt me.

So, why am I re-living all of this to you now?

Because I hear these same regrets in friends' voices today as quarantine birthdays disappoint their children and sports seasons are cancelled.  Kids are going weeks, turning into months, without a hug from a grandparent.  I see that heartache.  It is similar to the experiences of missionary kids in remote regions of the world.  Perhaps you can find a little solace in hearing the rest of our story...

As we were leaving Africa, Emily shared with me something profound.  She explained that she didn't share my regrets for her childhood. "I am not sad for missing those things in America," she said, "This life is my normal."  

All that pain I was carrying for her? She didn't have it for herself.  I wished I could re-live her childhood with her perspective.  Despite the years I spent hurting for them, I am so proud of who my children became. They have seen suffering; they have known sacrifice.....and they are better for it.

Yours will be, too.

One silly, but true example is our kids' ability to sit through long dinners of adult conversation when we returned to the States. We could be at a dinner table with our friends for hours, and our kids were sitting right there with us the whole time smiling along. Our hosts would be amazed by them. "They really are enjoying it," I tried to explain.  "All these conversations are in English; all the food is recognizable; all the seats cushioned.  What's not to love? They are having the time of their lives."  They became teenagers who appreciate tiny comforts and know the difference between being inconvenienced and actual suffering.

It's hard to believe it now when you're seeing the boredom, the tears, the loneliness, and the loss of what this spring could have been, but our kids won't be defined by what they are missing out on right now.  They will be shaped by what they are gaining in resiliency. Through today's quarantine hurts, God is pouring wisdom and strength into an entire generation.

"Don't wish the desert experiences out of your children's lives."

Ministry in the Era of Coronavirus

There is no need for me to write about the toll the coronavirus is expected to take in West Africa.  There are news articles that already do this, like the one here: Coronavirus in crisis-hit West Africa

But what the news can't tell you is the ministry impact in our community.  For our families receiving formula, this is a global layer of crisis on top of their community crisis of poverty on top of their immediate crisis of losing a mother.  May the Lord sustain them.  We continue our formula distribution (these babies need to eat!), but we have adjusted our methods to minimize community travel and interaction.

As you already know, without running water in their homes or refrigerators to store food or ventilators for the sick, our Host Families are in a vulnerable region of the world.  Through the work of our team and partners on the ground, each Host Family received rice, oil, and the luxury of hand sanitiser just as coronavirus was confirmed in town.  Resonating with Paul's expression in Galatians 2, providing for the families in crisis is the very thing we have been eager to do all along, virus or no virus.  The pandemic just adds another layer of crisis with which to reckon.

In the midst of the mess, we have front row seats to the glory of God at work through his people.  In Africa, we supported the local efforts to prepare well.  I did wonder, though, how we would make up the unexpected cost of coronavirus preparations.  Would this expense mean there is less to spend on formula?  Lo and behold, within twenty-four hours of presenting this need to some of our supporters, it was covered.  Covered. Praise God the coronavirus crisis did not overshadow the unrelated crisis of each tiny baby who recently lost her mother!

Additionally, our friends in Africa have great compassion for their brothers and sisters in America.  They have lived their whole lives without adequate healthcare and with the possibility of food insecurity.  Now, as they see some Americans facing such challenges for the first time, they are praying for us.  They are offering their strength in our weakness. Praise God for the Church around the world who share the same Spirit and the same Word from our Savior: "A new command I give you.  Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know you are my disciples, if you love one another."

When I take all of this in: the expressions of generosity and solidarity combined with the tragic need for it....I am reminded of another blogger's quote, "It is well with my soul - it really is, but it still hurts my heart."

How long must I wrestle with my thoughts?

Hello, friend.  How are you doing today?

In our neck of the woods, there is nothing immediately wrong, and yet there is so much wrong.  I don't have to tell you.  You have seen the magnitude of suffering in hard-hit areas, the sacrifices of medical workers, and the debilitating unknowns as our corporate isolation strains finances and relationships.

"Consider it pure joy,

 my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 

because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.

 Perseverance must finish its work

 so that you may be mature and complete, 

not lacking in anything."

-James

When things are bad and I read that verse, my first thought is, "Do I even want a God who says to count it all joy?"  During our medical crisis in Africa, I wrote in my prayer journal, "Are you nuts?" to Him over this very verse.  Maybe the last thing you want to hear in a crazy time like this is "count it all joy."  Maybe you want to throw your faith back into the face of a God who would ask such a thing.

This God is ready to take it. He has even given us words to spit out to Him, "How long will you hide your face from me?  How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart?" (Psalm 13)

When I look at social media, it feels like we are collectively grasping at verses of comfort in an attempt bury our anger and anxiety.  In Scripture, though, comfort verses don't deny pain; they meet it.  "But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation."  These words also come from Psalm 13, but take note that our God did not erase verse 2 from his Holy Word just because David made it to verse 5.

He is not afraid of our accusations.  When I say in anger, 'GOD, why aren't you doing more for the suffering ones?" He gently turns my attention to his claims in Matthew 25, "I AM one of them."  A King who rules the world, but identifies Himself on the hurting end of it.  He is among the sick ones gasping for breath.  Among the loved ones waiting outside a hospital.  Among the poor who cannot stock up on groceries without a refrigerator at home or cannot wash their hands for twenty seconds because there is no running water.  A God who says He is not only close to the brokenhearted, but that He is one of them.

A God whose wisdom told us not to store up treasures on earth all along.
A God who prunes the faithful branches that they will be even more fruitful.
A God who didn't skip over forty-one chapters of Job's anguish to get to the one about his healing.

This is the same God who says, "Count it all joy."  For Him, I will.



(Note: Credit for the Job insight goes to Philip Yancey.  If you resonate with this post, check out his book Disappointment with God.)

Yay Duck-Yuck Duck

Our missionary training taught us to recognize paradoxes. Even missionary kids need to know life is full of simultaneous highs and lows so the teachers introduced par-a-dox to the little ones as a "pair of ducks."  Each child received two plastic ducks, one the "yay duck" and one the "yuck duck."

What I have here is a tiny suggestion that makes a big difference as you're spinning into transition and chaos.  I am suggesting it to you now because it takes just one minute each evening and reaps a treasure untold.  As you are able, grab a journal or piece of paper and make two columns, one for "yay" ducks and one for "yuck" ducks.

It is important to stop and acknowledge the best part of each day, even if there's a whole string of days where the highlight is just "we didn't get sick."  Pause at the end of every day, even the worst of days, and acknowledge there was something good in it.  I do believe we will see anew the works of God and a revival in our faith through this time.  Write it down.  At the same time, we can't pretend there are no losses.  We write down the hurt or the anxiety at the end of the day to acknowledge those, too.  They are real.  They are painful.  They need to be said so we don't needlessly carry them into tomorrow.  What I love about yay duck-yuck duck journals is the powerful freedom in the moment of saying, "My heart holds both of these conflicting feelings at the same time, and that is okay."  Over time the journals become a treasure of little daily memories that would otherwise be forgotten.

For today, my yuck duck is the loss of Philip's trip to Uganda.  My yay duck is that we get to be together as a family.

What are yours?

The Whole World Fighting for Each Other

We waited for Philip to return from the grocery store with curious anticipation.  What would he find?  What would be in stock?  It felt encouragingly familiar.  This is how we waited for him to return from the store when we lived in the capital of a small African country.  (Mind you, we didn't have grocery stores when we lived in the rural area.)  Who knew there'd ever be a usefulness on this side of the ocean for our hard-earned capacity for living in uncertainty? Life without stocked supermarkets?  Check.  Doing a risk-assessment before leaving the house? Check. Calendars are irrelevant?  Check.
Conversations with our American friends are sounding a little more African these days.

What I see around me is the whole world sacrificing for each other to have health, medical care, income, and food.  It's affirmation of what we have been fighting for in Africa all along.  This week I saw an article of anger on behalf of a mother who couldn't find formula for her baby.  This should make us angry.  And when we recognize that anger on behalf of one of our own, we can also imagine a place in the world where a multitude of babies are dying because they do not have access to formula...and be angry on their behalf, too.  Or when we are faced with a shortage of ICU beds while a virus is on the loose and watch our communities collectively sacrifice to protect our healthcare system....are we not also ready to step up for our brothers and sisters in West Africa who have never had access to an ICU bed, through malaria season and all?  When we face economic uncertainty, we have not yet made the decision to unplug the refrigerator because we can't afford the electricity.  My neighbor in Africa was given a mini-refrigerator and used it for one month.  When she got that electric bill, she decided it wasn't worth it.  Our impact hasn't hit their everyday reality.  When we moved back to the States, we could not give away our iron in Africa.  Want to know why?  It was not because they do not iron their clothes.  They most certainly do.  It was because they would rather use an iron that heats with hot coals than waste the electricity on our fancy version.  We have not seen economic hardship like the level they live with every day.  This crisis that challenges us all is renewing the passion in my heart for how the Lord is working in our ministry in Africa to give an income to families who otherwise would not have one, to give sixty families each month access to formula for babies who otherwise would not have it, to provide temporary homes with Christian families for children who need it (usually because they lost their mothers from the lack of medical care), and leading our ministry leaders to work with local health ministries to prevent maternal deaths through education and nutrition.  We are working for health, income, medical and food in a remote region of the world.  Based on what we have seen this week, this is a fight that the whole world believes in.  

This Is Their Normal

When our society returns to our "normal," may it be with a lasting dose of compassion for those who live without food, medical care, and education every day.   All the things we are afraid of losing match normal daily life in rural West Africa. Did you catch that?  Our great crisis is their everyday norm.

We can learn a lot from brothers and sisters who only know life without grocery stores, without medical care or hospital beds for the suffering, without easy education for the children, without toilet paper, without plans for tomorrow.  Our brothers and sisters in rural West Africa stare death and hunger in the face daily.....without letting it steal their joy.  Society is built differently when there is a collective understanding that none of us are promised tomorrow.  We are seeing that move within America as we make personal and corporate sacrifices to slow the spread of the virus and its impact on our neighbors and health care system.  Accordingly, there are two lessons we can learn from West African society that are applicable over here right now.

First, check on your people.  Living in a country where money is scarce and uncertainty is high, we learned friends are everything.  Malaria, meningitis, typhoid and other diseases in a place with little medical capacity for complications means they do not take for granted loved ones will have a long, healthy life.  The common phrase when seeing a friend is, "It's been two days!" They like to check-in with each other that often.  (It is the opposite mentality from our idea that "No news is good news.")  Coming from a Western mindset, all this checking-in with friends on a regular basis seemed to hinder productivity....until I could appreciate the richness in their relationships. There is no greater use of time and energy than pouring it into each other.  Work can wait when you don't know what tomorrow holds, check on your people.

Second, what you have is for sharing.  I have written before about my rationing our American food the first year.  I stored brownie mixes in my bedroom so that I could pull them out only when everyone present would appreciate a warm, gooey, sugary slice.  But as I watched the West Africans, I saw they were different.  Their immediate reaction to receiving a special food was to share it.  When we started to live by what we learned, sharing instead of rationing, life was so much better.  Rather than clinched fists, our open hands allowed us to give AND to receive.  We weren't expecting that.  We stopped rationing the brownies and started meeting Jesus in our meals.  We lived with open hands when we had little access to grocery stores so I can say it now: what you have is for sharing.

I am thankful to see our churches and communities coming together in the shared fight against COVID-19.  I hope that after the crisis passes for us, we will continue to be willing to sacrifice because our eyes are open and our hearts are moved for those who live without adequate health care, without nutrition, and without education for their children as their normal.

Prayer Meeting Feast

Prayer meetings in West Africa do not always involve food, but when they do, it's a feast!  Here you see some things you recognize like salad and rice and some green beans (though you probably don't usually serve your green beans with fish in the pot), and some unfamiliar things like our family's favorite: riz gras (in the middle). There is toh (on the far right) with a peanut sauce and a tomato sauce to accompany it.  This is a potluck with all the favorites.

Bite-Sized Thoughts from Hebrews, Part 2

One day I was complaining to Philip that I could get a lot more done for God if I wasn't responsible for four children and three meals every single day.

My husband didn't miss a beat in responding, "When did you start working for God instead of with Him?"

Because that one little question of exhortation cut deep and has been ringing in my ears for months, when I came to Hebrews 9:28, I honed in on this detail: when Jesus comes the second time it is "to bring salvation to those who are waiting for him."   It could have said "to those who are working for Him."  It didn't. 

Our Father is not the pragmatic God I've boiled Him down to, but a God of Glory.  The glory of another world peeking through this one.  Oh, the mysterious grace that he would want me apart from what I do for him.  He is happy when I am sitting still with my eyes and attention on him.  That is, in fact, who he's coming back for.

Bite-Sized Thoughts from Hebrews

After a week in Kentucky, I feel like my spirit can run again.  I've been reading the intriguing warnings of Hebrews 5:11-6:3.  Check it out. 

"We have much to say about this, but it is hard to make it clear to you because you no longer try to understand.  In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary teachings of God's word all over again.  You need milk, not solid food! Anyone who lives on milk, still being an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness.  But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.

Therefore let us move beyond the elementary teachings about Christ and be taken forward to maturity, not laying again the foundation of repentance from acts that lead to death, and of faith in God, instruction about cleansing rites, the laying on of hands, the resurrection of the dead, and eternal judgment.   And God permitting, we will do so."

Theologically, I can't explain it all, but it makes me think of God looking at us with an eager anticipation.  His earnest request is, "I have so much more of Myself that I am bursting at the seams to show you. Don't keep laying the same foundation.  Come on with Me to maturity."

What is your response?

The Rest of 2019 Booklist

After putting together my last booklist, I realized I want to do better at listening to people whose stories are not like my own.  As I look over this list, I am happy with the places that has taken me in the second half of 2019, as well as what I learned from the books I would be expected to read.


Significant Others: Understanding Our Non-Christian Neighbors by Monte Cox
Monte was a favorite college professor who also did our pre-marital counseling, so sure, I am biased.  That said, I highly recommend this book.  Living in a Muslim country and now as an American urbanite, I only wish I'd read it earlier.  I am particularly thankful for the points of connection we can have with our non-Christian neighbors.

Holy Envy: Finding God in the Faith of Others by Barbara Brown Taylor
I thought this would be an anecdotal version of Monte's book.  I liked way the author talked respectfully of followers of other world religions.  At times I found this book interesting, troubling, and at least once I wanted to throw it across the room and never pick it back up.  But I did finish it.  Her faith experiences are not like my own, so her conclusions are not like my own, but hers are representative of many others.  We have to listen to people whose stories are not our own.

Think and Eat Yourself Smart: A Neuroscientific Approach to a Sharper Mind and Healthier Life by Caroline Leaf
I heard this author speak on neuroplasticity at a conference and was intrigued.  I should have known the science parts of this book would be over my head.

The Half Has Never Been Told: Slavery and the Making of American Capitalism By Edward E. Baptist
For twenty hours of a road trip, Philip and I listened to this painful book together.  I picked it in hopes of hearing from a historical perspective how one part of the world came to prosper materially while so many did not.  What I heard were raw tales of slavery.  Why did we keep listening since slavery is something of the past?  Because our black brothers and sisters asked us to.  Again, it is imperative that we listen to people whose stories are different from our own.  It did make us wonder out loud how this was ever considered a Christian nation in the times of slavery.

Dreamland: The True Tale of America's Opiate Epidemic by Sam Quinones
Recommended by Philip's aunt, who is a nurse in Appalachia, the book reads like a story - a tragic, heartbreaking, true one.  It is a bird's eye view of how multiple streams of influence converged to create an unexpected epidemic.

Silence by Shusako Endo
Wow. This book is excruciating.
I loved it for the honest wrestling between faith and doubt.

Silence and Beauty: Hidden Faith Born of Suffering by Makoto Fujimara
A commentary on Silence written by a Japanese American.  The audiobook was nearly ten hours long and it took me the first eight to finally "get it."  These two books together are a worthy challenge.

African Samurai: The True Story of Yasuke, a Legendary Black Warrior in Feudal Japan by Thomas Lockley and Geoffrey Girard
Emily was disturbed that this was my "fun" book while Philip was away, but it really was fun!  An African warrior in feudal Japan?  This was all new to me and with no bearing on my daily life, it was a good "fun" read.

Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet by Jamie Ford
A novel about the Japanese-American experience in WWII.  Painful and helpful at the same time.

No More Faking Fine: Ending the Pretending by Esther Fleece Allen
A contemporary book on the life-giving practice of lament, as told through the author's own journey.

At Her Majesty's Request: An African Princess in Victorian England by Walter Dean Myers
This children's book intrigued me as another part of history I never learned.  A simple and interesting read about the life of Sarah Forbes Bonetta.

Jayber Crow by Wendell Berry
A beautifully written novel following the life of a small-town barber as rural America was transformed by automobiles and industry.  It's the kind of story I imagined my grandfather could have told.

Letters to the Church by Francis Chan
Be ready to be challenged by this one.  I want to read it again, but with a discussion group next time.  Definitely in my top reads of 2019!

The Bruised Reed by Richard Sibbes
What I loved about this book is that it required me to chew on it slowly as it was written in the 1600s.  It was helpful to see that struggles we have in churches today existed outside this time and place.

For Women Only (and its companion book For Men Only) by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn
A decade ago these books helped our marriage, so we decided to reread them.  This time we did as the intro suggests and first read the book about our own gender, making notes and comments in the margins as we went.  When we read the book written about our spouse, it was a personalized copy.

Untangled: Guiding Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood by Lisa Damour
I appreciated how practical this book is for parents.  There are examples of specific conversation starters, real life advice from the author's decades of therapy practice, and a distinction between what is normal and when to worry in each of the transitions.

The Memorial Box by Linny Lee Saunders
This book came to me as a surprise in the mail from my friend Tara!  It's perfect because it's the author's recounting of the ordinary and extraordinary ways she's seen God in her everyday life.  These are exactly the conversations Tara and I have in those rare moments we get to spend together.

What was your favorite read in 2019?