Read, Pray, Hope, and Grieve

If you are not up-to-date on the goings-on in West Africa, these two articles are concise summaries of a complicated situation:

Kalashnikovs and no-go zones

 Christians killed in attack on church

I have so many thoughts about this, but I'm not sure about posting such things in such a public space.  At the very least I want to say we are honored to have made this country our home.  Though the poverty statistics and the upsurge in terrorism are daily realities, they are not what defines the country.  In West Africa, you find mothers and fathers, husbands, wives, brothers, sisters, friends, employees, farmers, nurses, and teachers.  They like to laugh with their friends, dance at church, and keep food on the table for their family.

Read the articles, Pray with them, Hope for them, and Grieve together

My Dream Trip

A decade long dream of mine has been to take the kids to the annual musical extravaganza called Spring Sing at our alma mater.  Last weekend, the lights dimmed, the ensemble came on stage, and I started crying....barely into the opening number!

Our seats were in the area where Philip and I sat for chapel every day of our junior year of college.  Two memories unexpectedly hit me with a rush: This was roughly where we were sitting the morning it was announced from the stage that a plane had hit the Twin Towers in New York in 2001.  Three months later, I sat right about there admiring how my engagement ring sparkled under all those chapel lights.

The memories just kept coming.

I remembered how I came to college as a high-achiever who never considered skipping a single high school class.  It was Philip who taught me, "You're allowed three skips in every class.  Why be inside on a beautiful spring day?"

At the same time, I had discovered for myself that you are allowed ten chapel skips each semester.  Since chapel is not a graded endeavor anyway, freshman year I reasoned skipping chapel for thirty extra minutes to study before a test was a worthy trade-off.  I will never forget the very strong reaction of the very same Philip who taught me to skip class: "What?!  Skip chapel?!  Why would you do that? Gathering to worship the Lord together is the best part of the day."  He flipped my values upside down, which he continues to do today.

It's been nearly twenty years since he helped me start to live believing "what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." I was going to mention something about all these memories to him as the musical began, but as I looked to my left, there were four precious heads between us.  Four beautiful ones between us who did not exist in my memories and whose presence in our family tell of the journey we've had together in the intervening years.

Just like that I was on my dream Spring Sing trip....and in tears.

Twelve Lingering Lessons

Reflecting on the lessons that linger from our exposure to African culture, I wonder if they resonate with you, too. Some are inherent to life overseas, but not exclusive to it.  I would love to hear how these ideas have been woven into your story as well.....

sitting on the porch of our last African home

1. If you have it, it's for sharing....whether that's material possessions or your time.  In Africa, there is always time to sit under the mango tree with your friends because time is not considered a limited commodity.  There is no thought of "running out" of time.

2. Let God feed us.

3. Life is not found in leisure and recreation. We had very little of either, but life was full.

4. Purpose and focus. We could do so little in Africa, but that meant we were devoted to our little bit, to doing it well and doing it for His glory.  By necessity, everything else was out of our hands and off our radar.

5. We are wrong.  Learn about God from non-Westerners.  Jesus himself was not "one of us" Westerners.

6. The bar of success is not where Americans think it is.

7. Life works with other rules.  "Normal" is different for different cultures even down to the basic definitions of food, beauty, safety, health, and friendship.

8. Treats are treats.  A treat was just that, a rare and special occasion.  Culture shock included recognizing how readily available treats are here all day, every day.

9. Life is tough. God is there. 

10. Grace. God loved you before you cared.  

11. Choose community. Think community.

12. There is a gift in everyone who visits.  From welcoming those who are like you, you receive encouragement.  From guests who aren't like you, you receive growth and learning.  Both are a gift.

I am thankful we had five years to learn to see how another culture applies the ancient truths of the Gospel, as well as sad to leave because it seemed like we had just begun.  Tell me, in what ways have you learned these (and other) counter-cultural ways of life right here in America?

How a weekend visit is unfair

My heart screamed.

It's a strange thing to say.  There was no audible noise.  No one would have noticed a thing.
We were spending the weekend in West Kentucky, leaving the grocery store after visiting my grandmother and heading towards a friend's home where we were staying.  In a matter of minutes we had deeply experienced the very things missing from my new life in the city, and this scream was an involuntary reaction from deep inside of me.  Spending an afternoon with my ailing grandmother gave me a meaningful time filled with purpose.  Mindlessly hopping in and out of the car, zipping through the grocery store, and navigating backroads without a second thought gave me a sense of competence.  Spending the weekend seeing friends with whom we have travelled several seasons of life, gave us much needed connection.

Purpose, competence, and connection.  These are missing in our new city life.  These feelings are part of any move, so even in saying this today I believe we are right on track for an international transition.  This is not a post about how it will always be, but just a blurb about how uprooted we feel in this passing moment.

"In any transition, it's unfair to compare the end of the last thing to the beginning of the new thing.  

It just is.  But we do it anyway." 

 (A Life Overseas blog)

Inspiration

"The problem of earthly poverty will not be effectively overcome until the idol that justifies and legitimates greed as a cosmic reality is crushed to death."

-Walter Brueggemann, Celebrating Abundance

Philip told me a story about running errands with a Burkinabe friend in the capital.  One of his stops was the store, Orca.  Orca was the kind of place expats go to find household items not availabe anywhere else in the country.  We joked that it was dollar store quality at department store prices, but the point was, it was there.  These were imported items you wouldn't find at the outdoor markets or on the street corners.  Plus, you could shop with polished tile floors, air conditioning, and shopping carts.  Personally, my favorite feature was the existence of price tags.  To shop without the bartering game, what a treat!

The thing is, our Burkinabe friend did not even want to come in the shop.  He stayed outside, presumably to not put himself in a place full of expensive items he did not need.  He didn't even want to see what there was.  He was giving himself the gift of contentment.  

Snapshot from Africa

"...in you the fatherless find compassion."

Hosea 14:3

 The Lord put in our hands the Trauma Competent Caregiver material, already translated into French, that Philip learned from back in May.  He provided a travel companion with extensive personal and professional wisdom on the subject, and He sent the funds to bring along several friends from another region of the country to learn alongside this ministry.

Once again, His ways are better than our dreams.

Learning Culture Again

I've written before about spending the first year (or more) in Africa learning that we are wrong about everything.   As newbies, we needed to listen to and learn from our neighbor's worldview because we had left our world and entered theirs.  Even if it made no sense to us, they were "right."  We accepted their worldview because we were in their world.

After a couple of years, with a greater understanding of how the world works in West Africa, we began to listen AND agree.   We started accepting their worldview for its own merit, rather than simply because we were in their world.  Recognizing the "rightness" of their worldview didn't make our Western worldview wrong universally, but allowed for conflicting views to both be "right" depending on culture and context.

This is the training through which we returned to America.  Given the dynamic of our family, one focus of life in America that is highlighted for us is the lamenting of the African-American community.  Our brothers and sisters are hurting, and we often dismiss the conversation because it doesn't match our story.  Unlike our experience in Africa, these two worldviews share the same space in America.  It's not as obvious to leave one world and enter another, or to even recognize that two worlds share the same geographical space.

But here's what I learned in Africa:  Listen like you believe the other story, even when you don't get it.  There is truth there that our worldview cannot initially see.  Our lives are better, our world is better when we listen, learn, grieve, and ultimately join the stories of our neighbors.

Just like learning about the African culture before and as we moved there, we started reading about the race relations in America before and as we have moved here.  With obvious family applications, I am currently reading Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?  I recommend it as a place to start learning about the race concerns in our own country.

Or you could start with The Warmth of Other Suns. which is a less technical read because it is the story of several families through The Great Migration.  This is a part of American history that I don't remember learning in school but is hugely applicable to where we are as a nation and a church.